The first day I was judged because of my skin color was a day like any other. Up until the racism part. I was desperate for work, and I was willing to receive a verbal thrashing from some strangers who I figured would hate my tiny little guts...so I stepped into the Korean Dry Cleaners ready for action.The place was rife with cleanliness, and I felt weird intruding on it. I was dressed like a bro who was 10 minutes late for the big dance and had to make hasty decisions. An old Korean man and woman were in the back, making good clean love to the suits on the racks, and I desperately wanted to get in on this.
The conversation went down like so...
I repeated my statement more loudly, assuming she was hard of hearing....she turned away and shook her head, smiling. Feeling like a cow in a McDonalds, I crept out on tip-toed-hooves; trying to be an ambassador for white people was a terrible idea.
Employment is a bear right now. Kankoku is "Korea" in Japanese.
JOBS I'VE WANTED AND HAVE NEVER PURSUED EVER:
1. Whale Autopsy Giver
2. Pinball Machine Voiceover Freelancer
3. Pyrokinetic World Leader
4. Killer Whale and Penguin Counselor
5. Weak People Botherer
6. Brothel Representative
7. Bear Builder
8. Fish Baffler
9. Senator Kisser
10. Food Fighter
(11. Cat stevens)
Turns out Food Fighters are a real thing; I learned this from the television. I'm currently watching "Man vs. Food" on the Travel Channel, and I'm sick of seeing eerie similarities to my life on it. I always end up seeing something called the "GARBAGE DELUXE BURGER" from some place called Farty's and find myself saying things like "Oh wow, that seems delicious." I want to go "This is disgusting," but those are words my tongue won't form. I am a garbage disposal that breathes. It's kind of fun, as long as people respect what you do.
All of the above continues to make me a bad white people representative. So, out of penance, here's Jim Vondruska's half-Korean sister owning me with hairclips. More Bear Hair soon.
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