Welcome to Bear Hair

I can't stand most bloggers. They're opinions on music and porn aren't as interesting as they imagine; I'm not really captivated by reviews like "The singer really reminds me of -insert guy with extensions here-", or "The entire '93 Chicago Bulls and porn don't mix." Which we all know they do.

I'm starting a blog that will probably be just as nauseating.

If nobody reads it, I'll still use it for thought-storage purposes, because sometimes my mind is a bush full of mating birds. My brain has a lot of nooks I never go in because they're filled with crap my exes bought at emotional flea markets, and I really need an electronic Salvation Army to donate it to. I guess.

I'm on my friend Danny Radovanovic's couch at 7:30 in the morning, listening to this shit and writing this shit, trying to convey that I'm a mess through humor. The weird thing is, in my book, that's okay. If I'm not laughing, everything's okay if someone else is. And that's really what Bear Hair is all about, I guess. In Mike Birbiglia's words, my "Secret Public Journal" is for my air-ventilation and your enjoyment.

I'm also gonna keep track of what I'm doing musically, from "Yeah-this-is-a-flawless-idea" to "Wow-this-is-a-flaw-full-idea." A flawful idea. For example, right now, I'm writing a musical. Here's what it's about:

"A really grouchy obese man has his wife and kid leave him, due to the fact that he used to be merely a jolly fat guy and changed dramatically. Shocked by this, he continues his sedentary life of eating and continues playing the part of town pariah. His obesity leads him to be declared handicapped, and his doctor assigns him a dietitian and trainer that he needs to listen to....or it's over.

He reluctantly goes on their diet and exercise program. He HATES it. Until one day, he loses his first inch off of his belly; he walks the streets and has a strange feeling of being one inch closer to everyone, and he absolutely loves it. He tells his dietitian and trainer, and they become his "therapists," so to speak, on his long journey to get closer (physically and emotionally) to everyone he alienated in the past. Its called FAT CHANCE."

That's the latest project. Everything else is just typical rock'nroll tunes.

I'm done combing through my bear hair this morning. Keep reading if this was in any way awesome to you.